boray

so i find myself in another crossroad.. its deciding what i wanna be for the rest of my life…

INTERNAL MEDICINE– its my first love. i am passionate about this field. long working hours, busy schedule, tons of patients, but i love it!

PM&R– its the practical thing to do. good pay, easy schedule, i’ll just be on-call every 12 days, which means ill have more time to spend with julian.rehab isnt as exciting but helping patients become functional again is a big thing.

ok, so ive been doing rounds with 2 IM doctors for 4 months now. interesting cases, some are really mind-boggling. i kinda like it. am i kidding? i LOVE it! its everything ive ever wanted.whats the problem? i guess its really tough to be an IM doctor and a mom at the same time. that is, if you wanna be a hands on mom, at least for most of the time.

now, PM&R.. Physical Medicine & Rehab, aka boss of the PT, OT, ST… today was my first day making rounds with a PM&R doc. its been a hectic day. we saw maybe 30 patients in 3 different hospitals, but there’s no pressure at all. i mean, you have the option to see the patient everyday, every 2 days or even just once a week. i mean, you can take a vacation and you wont get sued!  you dont get emergency calls, you dont get eyebags from staying up all night coz the resident keeps calling you regarding your patient that has gone bad. plus, i have the oppurtunity to join a very good university program, thanx to my boss who thinks im smart enough to join their list!

so why the hell am i still thinking of IM knowing the fact that its almost impossible to get into a very good university program which offer a fellowship training? i guess it all boils down to love… and passion. ive given it up once, i dont wanna commit the same mistake again..